A feminist reflection on Solstice
On December 21st of this year was the longest night of the year, and
many cultures around the world celebrate this time by gathering and
telling stories, honouring the dark and cold space that allows us to go
within ourselves and welcome the light as the the Earth begins to spin
closer to the Sun, stretching the days out longer once more.
As a feminist scholar, Solstice is a time when I contemplate the
intersections between feminism and spirituality. While many feminist
schools of thought oppose religion as the strong arm of patriarchal
power that has historically oppressed people and in particular
reinforced gender binary systems that have positioned womyn as
subordinate.
Still, I do see both a revolutionary and emancipatory power in having
a spiritual life, which for myself takes place outside of organized
religion. This path of spiritual growth has in many ways been a lifeline
for me as a grad student in some of my darkest moments of
discouragement and despair.
Since becoming a graduate student in September 2009, I’ve also had
the pleasure to meet my spiritual teacher and connect with a variety of
feminist allies who have supported me on a spiritual path and in turn,
sustained me through my studies. Graduate studies can sometimes be a
very dark and isolated place where you are alone with your work.
Solstice night reminds me of the long and dark stretches of time where I
sit facing my computer, waiting for the light of inspiration to dawn on
me and bring me the energy to write about this work I am so passionate
about.
I had a conversation with a friend who recently defended her thesis
and confided how inspiring and humbling it was to see her complete her
work. She had always seemed so disciplined to me, which positioned her
as a role model for me. When I confided in her how impressed I was with
her completing her work the conversation evolved into a discussion on
how grad school is sometimes beyond a question of capacity and ability
to do the work. Indeed, we both agreed that we had never doubted our own
capacity, passion or commitment to the work. But what comes to the
surface in the isolation of writing a dissertation is the struggle with
your own inner demons.
Solstice night reminds me so poignantly of how these demons can
obscure the spark of inspiration and sometimes make you believe that you
will never see the end of your project. But even the longest night does
come to an end, and as the days begin to get longer from our limited
perspective on this planet, I know that with patience, dedication and
belief in myself I will be able to complete my degree.
As a feminist, I have found tremendous empowerment and inspiration in
turning to the immutable laws of the Universe to remind me of my place
in the greater scheme of things. Ultimately, this paradox requires both
that I believe in my capacity and also surrender myself to a higher
purpose. In other words, while these long hauls in isolation facing the
inner demons challenge me on my path as a graduate student, I know that
once I complete this process I can make important contributions to
social justice, inspire those I meet along the way to do the same, and
do my small part to making the world a better place, hopefully sharing a
bit of light and joy along the way.
Happy Solstice.
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